The Catholic Leader - 7 May

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The Catholic Leader, May 7, 2017
Family + religion
Family Faith
HERE’S a very serious question.
How many of you shop with your spouse or partner?
I don’t mean to hold hands and wander the shops
without a care in the world, staring lovingly at each
other and pondering which coffee shop to try; I mean
the good old grocery shop.
Well, My Dearly Beloved and I hardly ever do, and
the former, is rarer still, although I remember a time,
vaguely, when moments to ponder coffee sojourns
and admire each other’s gaze was an actuality.
Last week’s grocery-shopping event began with
inclement weather.
Outdoor work plans were cancelled and My Dearly
Beloved wanted to do some of the seemingly exciting
things I had planned.
I didn’t mind; in fact, the more time to talk, the better,
even over the exorbitant price of broccoli.
On the rare occasion we shop together, the reality is
that much more enters the trolley than normal.
And those additions have nothing much to do with
my taste buds because even outside of Lent, I’m not
the one with the sweet tooth or, to be perfectly blunt,
sweet “teeth”.
Take Master Almost Four along for the ride as well,
with his sweet teeth in tow, and the shopping trolley
starts to have a life of its own.
Ah, the joys of such misadventure, and I find all my
husband’s adult ponderings of this and that, beyond
sugar, quite amusing.
“Maybe this would be helpful?” he said of another
set of wrenches or something else I don’t quite know
the name of.
Plus all those discount tickets also have his name, or
therefore, ours, on them.
My Dearly Beloved is the real bargain shopper of our
household.
Thinking back, “shopping” together for household
renovations wasn’t as fluid, neither as discounted.
Take the whole “select-a-benchtop-to-look-at-every-
day-from-henceforth-from-a-three-by-two-inch-rectan-
gle-no-bigger-than-your-pinkie” thing.
Have you experienced this rigmarole, by yourself or
with another?
One would think taking an extra set of eyes to be
helpful, especially when faced with hundreds of those
little patterns, lovingly and carefully displayed as sam-
ples, begging for the taking.
After a half-dozen visits to cabinetmakers I think I
could start my own shopfront.
Shared discussions over those seemingly innocent
rectangles are a potential rift in the making.
Unless of course, as a couple, you have similar tastes
and aspirations for such renovations, then such tasks
are more of a walk in the marbled, speckled, stripey,
plain, pastel or vibrant-coloured “park”.
My Dearly Beloved and I share some like-minded-
ness in taste and design but then some very “unlike-
mindedness”.
Throw in my stubbornness and his Italian temper and
the “shopping picture” isn’t as sweet as before.
At one point of the “select-a-benchtop-to-look-at-eve-
ry-day-from-henceforth-from-a-three-by-two-inch-rec-
tangle-no-bigger-than-your-pinkie” thing I remember
asking the shop owner ever so adamantly yet politely,
I hope, to make a decision for us.
Shopping misadventures lead to holiness
By Selina Venier
Selina Venier is an author and works in faith
education.
Shopping for value: My Dearly Beloved is the real bar-
gain shopper of our household.
I even handed over payment in desperation for the
shopping misadventure to end.
But the consultant was too wise to do that and a
decision, eventually, was made.
A little like the shopping trolley, the outcome for the
new kitchen benchtop was a mix of tastes, with com-
promise and communication the key.
The other elements of the kitchen required much
compromise and communication but that was with
suppliers more than between the two of us; we
seemed to have found our “sync”.
Speaking of which and quite literally, the easiest
decision to make was the kitchen sink.
In fact, it was from that invaluable finding that
henceforth all other decisions were made.
We literally drove home with everything “plus the
kitchen sink” that particular shopping day and the
renovations continued, as they do today, no rifts
evident, only realisations about each other and a
renewed ability to compromise and communicate.
To put up with my changes of mind and posing of
new and unexplored renovation territory, My Dearly
Beloved has the patience of a saint.
Speaking of sainthood, in this month of Mary and
celebration of her Queenship of the Church and of
Heaven, let’s also recognise St Joseph for the rock
of patience, compassion and commitment that he
was.
St Joseph kept on keeping on, his love for Mary
unwavering.
I like to think of St Joseph, chip, chip, chipping
away at projects, on small and significant scales.
I like to think that he was always ready to consider
where and how to renovate just as much as he pon-
dered the extraordinary task God set ahead him, as
the foster father of Jesus and husband of Mary.
Who would know if he and Mary ever “shopped”
together, at the local markets?
It would have been likely.
I imagine that he had the gently, gently approach
that maintained calm in their household.
And as my new year’s resolution was greater
light-heartedness, hence this column and a “lighter”
attitude to life, I pray, I also ponder if St Joseph had
a sweet tooth or more, whatever that would have
looked like in their time?
My Dearly Beloved would seriously like to think so.
By Selina venier
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To put up with my
changes of mind
and posing of new and
unexplored renovation
territory, My Dearly
Beloved has the
patience of a saint.